So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
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