Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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