Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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