Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
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You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
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I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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