Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
