I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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