I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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