I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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