Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
