Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
