Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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