Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
