You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
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