those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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