Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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