So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
