yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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