This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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