you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
