R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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