You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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