Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
