You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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