i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
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Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
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I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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