At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
