I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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