the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
