Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
