there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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