my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
