Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
