is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize
