all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
