all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
