My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Dear god my vagina.
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