Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Randomize
