sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
