Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
