you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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