If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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