She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
