You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
We don't watch enough power rangers
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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