Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize