I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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