Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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