I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
