OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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