Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I fill condoms, not promises.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
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