Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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