You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
