Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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