but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
