Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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