Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
