Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
