Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
