I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I just cut my nipple shaving
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize