Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?