just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
