Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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